13 Jun 2014

World cup fever

All the booze is free, airline going broke,
Here come the lady with another jack and coke,
Wanna watch the movie, can't sit still,
Flying down to Rio, going to Brazil,


It's here again the world cup or, if you are a gangsta, Da world cup yo.  But I am not so let's speak properly shall we?  For the first time ever I own a Brazil shirt, this will be an indication of their demise.  They will now do a Scotland and go out in the first round.  Although unlike Scotland they wouldn't have bought return tickets. How do I know this?  Simple I bought one Norwich shirt in my life and almost immediately they got relegated after a three year stretch in the premiership.

I heard Pele described by a journo the other day as immortal and after seeing him in an interview recently I can well imagine that he is, he looks exactly the same as he did in the 1970's.  Maybe I should go and live in Brazil?  Although having seen the size of the white knee tarantula in that Kate Humble documentary the other night, thank you HDTV, I'm not so sure.  I mean the angry monkeys, the people stealing your wallet and the unbearable heat I could cope with but a spider the size of a dinner plate? Nope.  I mean it's not like I'm going to crap myself at the sight of a house spider or anything but somethings should be small.  Still Kate Humble in swimwear soon took my mind off the gigantinormous arachnid.

I would like to bugger off to another country though, maybe even stay there.  I'm too old an lazy to learn a language now so I'm limited to Canada, Antipodes or the U.S of A.  I can't say that I'm enamoured with Britain at the moment after they stopped my rock and roll recently.  Although I do keep getting emails from Reed.co.uk who seemingly want me to apply for a job with M.I.6.  So disgruntled man with money troubles works for M.I.6.  Who am I Alec Leamas?  Now I don't wish my country or any of it's inhabitants ill.... with the exception of maybe oooh I dunno, Russel Brand, Robbie Williams, Andy Parsons or Wayne Rooney.  Incidentally Wayne Rooney in our house is known affectionately as The Rootard. But I digress, which as previous readers will no doubt remember is a female digre, if I were offered a way out of the U.K. I would take it.

But as I'm not likely to be whisked off to foreign shores by some brunette super model, sadly, I'll await the morning post for another email rejection letter.


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