25 Feb 2008

"Oh, We're heading for Venus (Venus) and still we stand tall, 'cause maybe they've seen us and welcome us all, yeah with so many light years to go and things to be found (to be found) I'm sure that we'll all miss her so It's the final countdown."

Well, it's finally happened the twentieth century has reached the furthest, darkest regions of North Norfolk just in time for the twenty first. Yes, my sister has finally given into the temptations of the interweb and gone and been and got herself connected... so no more disparaging remarks with regards to Norfolk. I will try and quickly delete any comments alluding to the retarded nature of her fellow Norfolkonians although literacy and electricity are yet to become widespread amongst the populace so I'm ok for now until I return to visit her & the kids in the summer when my ritual burning at the stake will commence. I shall, when apporoached by the screaming masses pull out my brand new PSP and I shall be worshipped as a god amongst 'tards. People will bow down before me as if I were Moses returning with two tablets of commandments from god. Ooh that's an idea maybe I could make my own commandments?

Commandment 1, Thou shalt not worship Robbie Williams for he is untalented.
Commandment 2, Noel Edmonds shall be buried with ants and a jar of honey smearedeth about his person.
Commandment 3, Thou shalt not worketh on a sunday, but putteth thine feet up for a bit whilst watching 'Time Team' with a niceth cup of tea.
Commandment 4, Any tv executives that maketh a programme with 'dancing', 'ice' or 'celebrity' in the title may be set upon by rabid guinea pigs-eth.
Commandment 5, At some time in the future, whenever convenient for her, Sarah Silverman must layeth down with our lord Mike... and not complaineth when he falls asleep upon her bosom nor when he awakes with a nipple imprint upon his cheek.
Commandment 6, ...Or Hilary Swank...
Commandment 7, The elderly must not smell of wee.
Commandment 8, All naturists must actually looketh like the ones in my head and not like the ones who resemble a badly stuffed bag of spanners.
Commandment 9, All women must not wish themselves dead when I witter on about world war two, cartoons or star wars... Or ask them out.
Commandment 10, All religion to be abolished... apart from this one obviously.
Commandment 11, Everyone is to tell me how great I am-eth.

The gospel from the book of Kevin
In the beginning there was the dark and Mike said "somebody switch on the light". And somebody switched on the light, but not before closing the curtains, think of what the neighbours might sayeth. And Lo! God created man and as he had a bit less clay than he needed and the shops were shut what with it being easter bank holiday weekend god used half a tub of Helman's mayonnaise. God said "Behold for I have created man and he shall be called Mike". And so Mike roamed the Bournemouth Pleasure gardens of paradise (in the nuddy) and Mike was unhappy (and cold). God asked "Why art thou unhappy?" "I am alone in this world god and am a bit bored." Mike answered "Does it really have to be 2 billion years before they invent the Playstation o Lord?" "Yes it does but stand back and watch this shit" said god for he was nicely toasted as he often was therefore explaining the animals of Australia. God reacheth down and took one of Mike's ribs (for he had had take out delivered), "that's not much of a trick" sayeth Mike unto god "you just nicked my dinner and you didn't pay for your garlic bread." God wasn't listening (as usual) but with a flash and a mighty hey presto God created woman. And it was good. As Mike stood in the nuddy before god's newest creation a woman not unlike Hilary Swank in the naughty naked nude (as she often is in my head) he looketh her up and down as he noticed a stirring in his loins. He looked Hilary in the eye and said "You'd better stand back I don't know how big this thing gets."

As my regular viewers will no doubt remember I'm calling my new religion 'I Can't Believe It's Not Buddha.'
Here's your music for your listening pleasure. Firstly we have a load of my recent twelve inch buys, some of which are repeated because the new set up I got before Christmas gives a better sound quality, especially if you've got 5.1 surround sound on your PC like wot I does. Then I've got the latest NME classics album (track listing in the comments) and a load of Ska (again track listing in the comments). Ttfn and see you anon black dog allowing.
Ska 1
Ska 2
12" 1
12" 2

Enjoy the rest of the Easter Weekend


Mike said...

NME Classics

Disc: 1
01 - The MC5 - Kick Out The Jams
02 - Velvet Underground - I'm Waiting For The Man
03 - The Stooges - No Fun
04 - The Doors - L.A. Woman
05 - The New York Dolls - Jet Boy
06 - Patti Smith - Gloria
07 - The Damned - Neat Neat Neat
08 - X-Ray Spex - Oh Bondage Up Yours
09 - Richard Hell & The Voidoids - Blank Generation
10 - Dead Boys - Sonic Reducer
11 - Iggy Pop - Lust For Life
12 - The Saints - This Perfect Day
13 - Ramones - Sheena Is A Punk Rocker
14 - The Only Ones - Another Girl, Another Planet
15 - Siouxsie & The Banshees - Hong Kong Garden
16 - Blondie - One Way Or Another
17 - Magazine - Shot By Both Sides
18 - Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn't've)
19 - XTC - This Is Pop
20 - Television - Marquee Moon
21 - David Bowie - Heroes

Disc: 2
01 - The Clash - I Fought The Law
02 - Stiff Little Fingers - Suspect Device
03 - The Jam - Going Underground
04 - The Vapors - Turning Japanese
05 - Generation X - Kiss Me Deadly
06 - The Pretenders - Brass In Pocket
07 - The Selecter - On My Radio
08 - The Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom
09 - Madness - One Step Beyond
10 - Bad Manners - Special Brew
11 - The Specials - Ghost Town
12 - The Cure - The Lovecats
13 - Talking Heads - Psycho Killer (Live)
14 - Kraftwerk - Tour De France
15 - Malcolm McLaren - Buffalo Gals
16 - New Order - Blue Monday
17 - Echo & The Bunnymen - The Back Of Love
18 - Aztec Camera - Walk Out To Winter
19 - The Jesus & Mary Chain - Just Like Honey
20 - Prince - Sign O The Times
21 - Joy Division - Atmosphere

Disc: 3
01 - Morrissey - Suedehead
02 - The Stone Roses - She Bangs The Drums
03 - Happy Mondays - Step On
04 - Inspiral Carpets - This Is How It Feels
05 - Depeche Mode - Enjoy The Silence
06 - Orbital - Chime
07 - Massive Attack - Unfinished Sympathy
08 - Primal Scream - Movin' On Up
09 - Suede - Animal Nitrate
10 - Oasis - Live Forever
11 - R.E.M. - Whats The Frequency, Kenneth
12 - Ash - Girl From Mars
13 - Supergrass - Caught By The Fuzz
14 - Radiohead - Just
15 - Pulp - Common People
16 - The Chemical Brothers - Setting Sun
17 - Blur - Song 2
18 - Manic Street Preachers - A Design For Life
19 - The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony


Disc 1

01 - On MY Radio - The Selector
02 - Mirror In The Bathroom - International Beats
03 - Ne-Ne Na-Na Na-Na Nu-Nu - Bad Manners
04 - Limehouse Lady - Arther Kay
05 - Rough Rider - The Selector
06 - Big 6 - Judge Dread
07 - Yes Yes Yes - The SKA-dows
08 - Shame - Big 5
09 - Up With The Cock - Judge Dread
10 - Rhapsody In Buh - The SKA-dows
11 - Missing Words - The Selector
12 - Monday Morning - The Riffs
13 - Mad About You - Laurel Aitken
14 - Inner London Violence - Bad Manners
15 - The Selector - The Selector
16 - Pussy Whipped - Big 5
17 - Turkey Stomp - Hotknives
18 - Lip Up Fatty - Bad Manners

Disc 2

01 - Gonna Get Along Without You Now - Bad Manners
02 - Je T'aime - Judge Dread
03 - I Can See Clearly Now - The Selector
04 - Apache - The SKA-dows
05 - Monkey Man - Big 5
06 - Phoenix City - Judge Dread
07 - Best Of Both Worlds - The Selector
08 - Baby Elephant Walk - Bad Manners
09 - Come Outside - Judge Dread
10 - Dambusters - Jj All Stars
11 - Telstar - The SKA-dows
12 - Walking On Sunshine - Big 5
13 - Orange Street - The Selector
14 - Wooly Bully - Bad Manners
15 - Jamaica Jerk-off - Judge Dread
16 - Peter Gunn - The Riffs
17 - Liquidator - Hotknives
18 - Echo 4+2 - Bad Manners

Disc 3

01 - Rudy - Judge Dread
02 - Madness - The Selector
03 - Rock Steady - The International Beats
04 - Sooty Is Rudie - Arthur Kay
05 - Reburial - Potato 5
06 - Skaville UK - Bad Manners
07 - Two Legs - Mark Foggo's
08 - Ska'd For Life - The SKA-dows
09 - Dick Barton - HotKnives
10 - Gift - The Burial
11 - Is Anybody There - Volcanoes
12 - Sally Brown - Laurel Aitken
13 - King Hammond Shuffle - King Hammond
14 - Pound To The Dollar - Maroon Town
15 - Off The Shelf - Jonny Two Bad
16 - Too Late Rudy - The Loafers
17 - Bluebeat And SKA - Natural Rhythm
18 - James Bond - Big 5

12" vinyl rips

808 State - Cubik Olympic Remix
Bad Manners - Lip up Fatty (12 Inch Version)
Bad Manners - Lorraine (Extended Version)
Bad Manners - Walking In The Sunshine (Extended Version)
Billy Idol - White Wedding (Parts 1 & 2)
Chad Jackson - Hear The Drummer Get Wicked (Extended Version)
Chaka Khan - I Feel For You (12 Inch Mix)
De La Soul - The Magic Number (1-2-3 Mix)
Deacon Blue - Fergus Sings The Blues (Extended Version)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes (Annihilation)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Two Tribes (Surrender)
Frankie Goes To Hollywood - War (Hide Yourself)
Hollywood Beyond - What's The Colour Of Money
King Kurt - Destination Zululand (Special 12 Inch Mix Up)
Madder Rose - Panic On
Malcom McLaren & The World's Famous Supreme Team - Buffallo Gals (Scratch)
Mark Summers - Summer's Magic (Unit Mix)
Paul Hardcastle - 19 (Destruction Mix)
Prince & The Revolution - Let's Go Crazy (Extended Version)
S'Express - Superfly Guy (Extended Mix)
Sophia George - Girlie Girlie
Soul To Soul - Get A Life
The Rocksteady Crew - (Hey You) The Rocksteady Crew
The Sugarcubes - Walkabout
Theatre Of Hate - Do You Believe In The Westworld
Westworld - Sonic Boom Bop

Jim said...

Thanks for the NME set. I'd actually considered buying it, but I'm newly unemployed and thus incredibly cheap.

Mike said...

Yeah I know that one, good luck in finding a new job and hopefully you'll find something to your liking soon. In the meantime enjoy the music.

Ronan said...

Great blog. I used to get the Upsetter fanzine all those years ago!

Mike said...

Oh so you're the one?

Anonymous said...

Was interested in the NME set before I read the track list and realised I had all the good ones already. Talk about your jaded internet music libertine, I should hang my head in shame.

The ska set though, is just crystal. Ta very much, and for what it's worth, your blog is always worth reading.

Mike said...

Glad to be of service. I have the next three already written and will upload some more music asaicswbsg (which stands for As soon as can stop watching Battlestar galactica).

Robert said...

Just a quick note for two reasons: First to say that I enjoy yer posts and rants and do check in regularly, Secondly, and it's a grovel: can ye repost the sundry BAD / Big Audio Dynamite posts? I reformatted me hard drive last week and when it came to restoring my iTunes library it dawns on me tat it wasn't backed up properly so I've lost around 350 albums!!!
Yer a star if you can.
Rob Scotland

Mike said...

I shall see what I can do for you.


Great blog don't know if you've managed to get the Madness Peel Session that was on your xmas list yet, If not it's on my blog, i've put up a link to yours all the best, MARKY DREAD


Anonymous said...

Great Ska Section here:



Walt Jabsco

Anonymous said...

Glad to see you're back a bit. I dig the angle on your world, cat. It's one of those things where I'd probably rather not meet you because it would spoil the character and storyline. No offense, ya know? Can't say that about many blogs. Too many overthink it. Keep on keepin' on, friend.

Mike said...

"overthink"? besides you're not alone even the people I know don't want to meet me. ;) I shall post a new one soon.

Ronan said...

Hey Mike, came across some of your old fanzines amongst all the stuff I've been hoarding for years, I think you did a feature on my band at the time (Gangsters)....the good old pre-internet days of the fanzine...

Mike said...

Yup I remember you Ronan. I thought I was the one and only holder of copies of my fanzine? Apart from the one that went for a fiver or so on ebay. Sometimes I miss being covered in glue and newsprint like Father Dougall MaGuire making a christmas card, so much so in fact I often just rub my thumbs in old newspapers just to relive the memories.

Eheu said...

not only but also some frank sidebottom for your delictation

forgive me father for I lived in Branksome..