15 Feb 2007

"Do you feel like a chain store? Practically floored One of many zeros Kicked around bored Your ears are full but you're empty Holding out your heart To people who never really Care how you are"

I'm posting just about every piece of L7's catalogue that I have today. I first got into this group whilst sat for what seemd like and age and a half awaiting the Sandbanks ferry to go to and fro across the cold grey choppy waters,(It was Summer), to Swanage for a Bigshot gig which was marred by the attentions of the KKK and lack of support from the local police and beligerance of the inbred locals.(duelling banjoes country). My mate Tony who was driving what for a mechanic was a poorly maintained 3 series BMW,(He kept a lump of wood underneath the hood to hit the starter motor if it wouldn't start... rather than fix it), decided that his passenger was bored to death by the Pantera tape he was playing. Realising that his almost nightly gaming sessions on my Amiga 500 playing either Sensible Soccer (where he inexplicably lost the ball), Jaguar Racing or PGA Golf Tour was in jeopardy. He then put on his knock off copy of 'Bricks are heavy'. I'd heard a few tracks played by some dj or other on Radio One a few months previously when I'd been stuck in my crappy bedsit with hot and cold running damp on the walls. I was immediately taken and decided to buy a copy for myself. Even though they were American grunge and I wasn't particularly taken with all that unwashed look myself something about L7 that made me listen. Shortly after that there was the 'incident' on Channel 4's The Word where unimpressed by the fact that she wasn't allowed to enter the 'Guess who's bottom this is' competition one of the members dropped her kecks live on air during their number and proudly displayed her 'lady's furry front bottom'. Again I was taken by this band, I 'm a sucker for ladies showing me thier parts. (What can I say I'm romantic like that). When they toured a couple of years later I was a major fan with singles, albums and twelve inches to my credit (it pays to be in with the local second hand record dealers) and a poster holding up the damp patch of wallpaper, they were playing London. "We have to go" I said. "Ok my sister lives in London" Tony announced "I'll get her to get tickets." Great we were set. I looked forward to the gig with great relish and set about brushing up on remembering the lyrics so I could shout along tunelessly at the back. The date got nearer and nearer I got more and more excited. Tony came round less and less frequently. The day arrived of the gig Tony showed up and proudly announced we were all going to Exeter ... "what?" I asked politely half expecting a joke at my expense. "yeah my sister left it too late to get the tickets and they were sold out. So we're going to Exeter to see the UK Subs instead." To say I was disappointed would be an understatement. At this point despite being a partial skinhead and hanging around with some paid up members of the skinhead fraternity I'd never been a punk fan so hadn't a clue of any songs the Subs had done. We travelled to Exeter stopping along the way at Maiden Castle at which point I gave a brief history lesson about the Iron age fort that I'd read. I say brief because I was told to "shut up you boring git." We then found our way in deepest darkest Devon and it was looking less and less likely that I was going to London, even when we did a u turn on dual carriage way to go back to the previous pub which was still open. This scared the shit out of the motorcyclist that was baring down on us at a rate of knots with saucer like Tom & Jerry cartoon eyes filling the whole of his visor.
Bladders empty and then refilled with fizzing vegetable based falling down drinks we again joine the route to Exeter. Joy. Although the gig was rather good and more packed than any I'd seen in Bournemouth and Charlie Harper was exceptionally nice and bought me a pint and a quick chat about my fanzine etc. and I'd finally gotten around to using my best Benny Hill Joke (I walked into the George and Dragon pub in Exeter and asked the barmaid if "George was in?" Oh how she laughed...). It was my first taste of Oranjeboom lager, it was all the bar had, thankfully it was also my last. We left after the old beer soaked fella beside us decided he was a chicken and left a large brown steaming egg under his barstool. Shortly after this we headed into town to find the delights of Exeter ... they were shut so we hit the burger king instead (see picture). Thus fortified we headed to the gig. The gig finished and we found out from some fellow gig goers that there was a soul do at the Cavern (yes there's one in Exeter too) which was a lot more fun for me as even though I am allergic to dancing I actually knew the songs and stood there nodding appreciatively in time with the music pint in hand. I talked with a student from (funnily enough), Bournemouth for a while and handed out the last remaining copies of my fanzine, badly spelt though it was. With the evening over and one of our number although happily in a relationship deciding he'd rather break his marriage vows than sleep alone and as it turned out on the grass in front of the DVLA building all night with one petrol soaked sleeping bag between the three of us. What a night so I started talking about the star constellations I could see .. once again "Shut up you boring git." Deciding that I didn't like sleeping on grass and getting high on 4 star petrol and the tramp over the way was eyeing us up in a funny way, (I was a handsome lad and feared that I would be raped, hence the reason I've never been in prison), I decided to walk around all night stealing road signs to pass the time. It was the second longest night of my life. In the morning after several hours of trying to awake the lads by throwing pine cones at their still drunken slumbering heads we moved off. Tony rose and brushed aside all the pine cones around him and I presented him with the road signs so he could decorate his flat some more. I was dropped off home and slept or the rest of the day. I was still annoyed about not seeing L7 but hey, all in all it had been ... an experience. Not until the following week had I discovered that a member of the band had raffled herself of as a prize at the gig we were supposed to go to. I'm not saying that I may have won, but I'm certain I'd have had more of a chance if we'd actually gone to the gig rather than sleeping with two other skinheads in Exeter.
I've always wanted to be groupie but ever since that 'incident' and restraining order with Justine From Elastica...

http://www.sendspace.com/file/59muyo L7 - L7

http://www.sendspace.com/file/or6os1 L7 - Smell The Magic

http://www.sendspace.com/file/2pgrw3 L7 - Bricks Are heavy

http://www.sendspace.com/file/3oi6tb L7 - Hungry For Stink

http://www.sendspace.com/file/oykc0o L7 - The Beauty Process

http://www.sendspace.com/file/vbtd51 L7 - Slap Happy


Scooter said...

The 'incident' where Donita proudly displayed her 'lady's furry front bottom' live on The Word is TV gold!

Remember too, at a gig they offered a one night stand with a band member in their tour bus as a raffle prize? Bet he's still clawing himself with whatever he caught!

TheUpsetter1969 said...

I bet the first three rows in the audience thought they were at Billingsgate fish market.