17 Jul 2006

"Heaven smiles above me What a gift here below But no one knows"

Six Weeks to go and then I'll be free of debt for the first time in nearly sixteen years. Personally I can't wait maybe I'll jack in the job too? Maybe I'll stay long enough to buy the PSP, iPod and the TFT Monitor I want then tell my manager where to stick his job and all the bullshit that goes with it. I know that managers are just real tossers that make out they like you and then turn on you the first time they can. Well no more favours for him then the cock knocker that he is. He's the pillock who can't send email attachments even afetr an hour and a half lesson. Still he's being promoted soon as we all know it's not only cream that floats to the surface.
Anyway onto other less annoying stuff the weather here is sweltering and our Ice cream man is back after the weekend off, he now parks right outside the house so as not to make my ragged old landlord walk too far. One orange flavoured Callipo later and alls right with the world, it must be the drugs he puts into the mix. I now listen out for the sound of a diesel engine pulling into our road and the strains of "Teddy Bears' Picnic" over the tinkly bells tannoy thing Ice Cream vans have. He's obviously been missed over the weekend by his addicts as he was there for around ten minutes or so normally he'll serve us to sad fucks and our neighbour next door and sometimes Mr & Mrs Arsehole who slams car doors all night across the road and that's it. But there the whole road stood fidgeting from foot to foot as if on smack and they really needed their next fix of a strawberry mivvy. Grey and gaunt even after several weeks of (Unheard of) British sunshine. I think several of them have taken to theft to finance the addiction, I know we in this household have £4.50 a day habit. Although I nearly went cold turkey tonight as I nearly didn't want one, but my 12 step program fell by the wayside and I had a callipo rather than the usual 99 with two flakes and some nuts. See? I can handle it. Mind you it'll be a test to see if we are addicted if we are all stood out there in the winter with the snow falling around our ears whilst we hop from foot to foot to stay warm wrapped in old newpapers and trying to buy a "knobbly bobbly on account as we're good for the money, just a lemonade sparkle to see me through. I've never let you down before I'll get the money just give me some hundreds and thousands on account please?" The ice cream will be smuggled in from the finest Italian factories inside desperate travellers stomachs inside balloons. His ice cream van will be covered in bling with lowered suspension and wire wheels and faux fur in the cab. I think I need to get out more.
Anyway tonight's post is from the Mega pop star band Madness. A bootleg dating form the early 1980's back when I was a young whip of a lad my god if I could go back in time and tell myself the horror stories of adulthood I think I'd either have studied more or thrown myself off the 100 foot cliffs at the back of our house. Anyway here's the post.

PS As a footnote top last night's regular rant at celebrity here's a quote from Jodie Marsh a bimbette of little or no talent. "The eskimos are uncivilised because they have no shops". Role model if ever I heard one. Or is that crash test dummy?

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