4 Apr 2006

"So don't you stop, being a man,Just take a little look from our side when you can, Sow a little tenderness,No matter if you cry. Give me a reason to love you,Give me a reason to be, A woman,It's all I wanna be is all woman."

There's a dvd out at the moment called 'Exotic dancing for the everyday woman'. I bloody well hope not, some of the 'everyday women' I see in my shop I would rather not picture them exotic dancing ... or any kind of dancing. I suppose for those women the 'exotic' bit would come along with the fact they'd have to put down the chips they're holding. Picture them as they writhe seductively in front of thier husbands in the white furniture clad bedrooms. Lank and greasy hair flicked back over the naked pasty shoulder as the ash from her Benson and Hedges falls onto her George from ASDA food stained t-shirt. Portishead's 'glory box' on the alba stereo as she mimes along to " I Just want to be a woman" with the half empty glass of bicardi in her hand she licks her lips, (to remove the crumbs from her pork pie), drinking sexily from her glass there's an audible hiss as the cigarette still in her mouth goes out. She whips of the bra in a flash and there's two slapping sounds as her breast hit her stomach. Imagine her peeling her leggings seductively over her large celulite covered thighs and hopping onto the waste paper bin as she forgot to take her shoes off. The light is visibly drawn from the room by the colour of her pendulous breasts as the haven't seen the light of day since she went to Magaluf in '86. Seeing her husband's enthusiasm waning as he begins to feel the effect of the third can of Tennants Extra and the Central heating on high she bends over to touch her toes and with the help of half a bottle of wonder tan and cellulite she resembles a three feet wide over ripe split orange. Can someone tell me why my manuscript for my erotic novel got turned down?

Oh well onto tonight's post a compilation from the good old days when Radio 1 FM was still good. In the evenings at least anyway. This is Steve 'I look like a ferenghi' Lamacq and Smiley Jo Whiley. It features session tracks and some really good music by the likes of pulp, paul weller, orbital, ash and loads more 41 tracks in total.





telstar_ted said...

I'll take this aswell 69!

This must have been around the time I stopped listening to Radio 1

...and moved to Radio 2..

..which is now like Radio 1 was then..

Confused? ... me too!


Fulhamx said...

You know I'm starting to worry,this is the only music blog I don't come for the music!, but mainly for the rants which could have come out of my mouth on a daily basis, shit it scares the willies out of me that you say almost the exact words I feel on most subjects you talk about. Still at least I don't feel like I'm the only one.
So take care my friend, a voice of sanity in this dumbed down land of ours.

TheUpsetter1969 said...

My only aim is to make people laugh asa I believe we all have enough in this modern world to make us worry. It only started off a s a way to let off steam about dimwits I jhave to deal with but I'm glad you enjoy my inane mumblings.

Fulhamx said...

Sure do,puts a smile on my face each time
stay cool.

Jim said...

I'm now torn between laughing and vomiting.
Hmm, with comments like that, I wonder why I got sacked from my job as poster tag writer for Major Motion Pictures.

"You won't know whether to laugh, or vomit."
"So shite you'll want to eat your own knees"
"You call that a twist ending? It's blatantly obvious he's been dead all along!"
and so forth. I'll stop now.