14 Mar 2006

"It's not important for you to know my name, Nor I to know yours. If we communicate for two minutes only, It will be enough For knowing that someone in this world, Feels as desperate as me and what you give is what you get."

You know it's not easy being me (despite all appearances). Mainly because of all the crap I have to deal with at work ("where's your wood filler?" "Right in front of you sir." " Where?" "That'll be the 17 brightly coloured products with 'WOOD FILLER' written on it about three feet from your nose.") etc. Note to all potential customers if you are a dumb ass please stay the fuck away from my shop. According to our manager in our extra tea break, sorry, 'weekly team meeting' we're 3% down on customers from this time last year and we're supposed to claw them back, how this is possible I don't know as I think it's a result of my culling exercise. I test people, whilst dressed as Elmer Fudd I lay a trap in the high street. I leave a copy of The Guardian & a copy of The Sun laying on a bench and if they so much as move towards the red top, blam!!! One less Eastenders viewer. So short of ressurrecting the dead I think he's onto a loser unless we want a 'Shaun of the Dead' scenario in my shop with loads of figures shuffling around dropping things putting them in the wrong place and in dire need of being shot in the head then.... Hold on a minute... it's already happened. Run for the hills!! Run for your lives save yourselves!!

Tonight's posts are two albumumums from the The Upsetters Eastwood rides again and Return of Django enjoy the classic Reggae.




domestic empire said...

Good luck with that culling - sounds like a bloody good idea to me ;->

TheUpsetter1969 said...

As soon as I can afford the bullets... ;)

Jim said...

It doesn't matter what you do, more arseholes and idiots will just spring up in place of the culled ones, turning up in shops, asking inane questions and testing our patience to the limit, till we finally snap, beating them to death with a pensioner.

I work in a shop too, can you tell?