28 Feb 2006

"Stop dreaming of the quiet life 'cause it's the one we'll never know."

Adverts are shit aren't they? I mean at the moment on British TV you have an insurance ad where a big chin/rubber lipped bloke is so happy with his quote that he's shouting "Yes yes I love you", meanwhile his Grandmother is nearing his door with the British fuel (a mug of tea) but on hearing him she stops and goes back downstairs seemingly pleased as she says "Just like his grandfather". It would suggest that his grandfather was as prolific a masturbator as his decsendant. In the real world granny would have reeled back in abject horror clutching at her chest as she fell broken hearted and disgusted to the axminster. No in the ad she seems to be getting off at her grandson bashing away like he's crushing chemical compounds in a mortar and pestle. She smiles as she gently rubs her chest perhaps she is thinking about buggering off to the lav to fiddle with her support hose for half an hour? She seems to be quite moist, whether this is due to some Jerry Springer-esque unspoken desire towards her grandson or fond reminisces of those long nights in the air raid shelter we are not privy. Another thing is why the hell is it only models that seem to enjoy the products on offer? It really doesn't inspire me to go out and buy the latest mobile phone when some stick insect in bad seventies fashions takes acid and watches the pretty patterns in the air. What the hell this has to do with the product I have no inkling whatsoever. Buy our phone it's good shit man. If I go to the Carphone wharehouse are they gonna sell me a phone cheap and then jack up the price when I upgrade? Will I wake up in a gutter somewhere needing to make a call and having to steal just to get airtime? Also whats with those gay guinea pigs on the Egg advert? Since when are animals gay? I don't want anyone thinking I'm prejudiced I mean some of my best friends are guinea pigs. I used to keep one and not once did it dance to disco and had absolutely prediliction towards droopy moustaches, cut off jeans or leather caps. Although my rabbit was a bit feminine, I came home from school one day and found that he'd tidied his own hutch.... by adding window boxes and colour coordinating the curtains with the wallpaper. On the back wall he had one of those Athena posters of the man stripped to the waist carrying tyres and highlights in his cotton tail.

Tonight's posts are Bad Manners - Special Brew a new compilation I picked up at the weekend. For a change it's not rerecordings but original remasteres tracks from the first three albums. It's a shame that those albums haven't been released in cd from but there you go. Also The Specials Live from 1979 (covers included with both)

http://rapidshare.de/files/14461375/ThSp-2m2y.rar.html The Specials - Too Much Too Young (New Link 01-Mar-06)
http://rapidshare.de/files/14380101/BM-SB.rar.html Bad Manners - Special Brew

It'll be interesting to see if these now get 'posted' by somewhere by someone else

21 Feb 2006

"I'll be fine, if you give me a minute, a man's got a limit
I can't get a life if my heart's not in it"

Tonight's post will be sans my usual rant about my work as I really don't give one at the moment due to the light at the end of the tunnel in July, although I do have plenty of spleen to vent as we speak. But as I said it shall remain an unvented spleen. But rest assured after the beans I ate tonight at least one part of my body is definitely being vented. Open all windows and strike no matches.

The Beat (here at last you patient people) are one of my favouritest bands ever. They bring back many happy memories of wearing the vinyl down and having to buy new copies or of travelling to Norwich and back playing them over the stereo in one of Gavin's succession of lousy (and possibly unroadworthy) cars. There was the Skoda Estelle with the wheels out of alignment in which we were overtaken by a Honda Melody moped as we couldn't do over 35 or the wheels wobbled. Or there was the mini clubman estate where if you got the sliding windows open you couldn't get them shut again due to the insulation at the bottom of the window was mouldy. Also the Peugeot 104 which had holes in the top of both wings which when wet would spray jets of water upwards and over the roof or when dry would issue a loud and shrill whistle which meant we just had to turn the music up. At least it wasn't Simon's Ford Fiesta which despite running on two and a half cylinders out of four and only being a 1.1 litre still managed to get up 110 mph along the RAF Coltishall road. Happy memories, dangerous and possibly life threatening but happy nonetheless.

Incidentally The Beat helped me achieve my most active political demonstration to date. When in 1987 the Conservative Party(BOO HISS etc See picture below for mrs Thatcher) drew up outside my house in thier 'Battle bus' which with me being of sound mind and equally unsound body a lifelong leftie immediately raised my heckles. As of this point I'd yet to discover Billy Bragg's 'The Power Of A Union' so I got out my beat singles placed my 100 watt speakers on the canopy over the front door turned them up to eleven spinal tap stylee and blasted out 'Stand Down Margaret' until they pissed off. Funny how they never came canvassing, now whether it was because of me or because they'd finished their pub lunches I wouldn't like to speculate but I bet Tony Blair wouldn't have done anything as annoying as that, 'New' Labour my arse, grow some balls you Tory lite dickhead and get your head out of Bush's arse.

Anyway let's move on before I dust off my CND and Red Wedge badges and start singing 'The Internationale' with my clenched fist in the air. Elastica... and don't worry by the time they came out my political ire was well and truly dead as we were lead by the grey man John Major (the only man in the world so boring he'd run away from the circus to become an accountant then and the Tories had become the thing of ridicule they remain to this day. But I was too busy getting drunk with my fellow skinnyheads at ska gigs and coming back to my bedsit to be a closet 'Britpop' fan (The only way I'm a closet anything) I think it was my most eagerly awaited albums of that period certainly more than Blur or Oasis. I always thought that they should've been bigger than they were and as I was a randy 20 something (rather than the randy 30 something I am now) thoughts of Justine Frischmann would keep me warmer than the asthmatic heater on my wall would. Second only to my lust for Sonya from Echobelly....and Miki from Lush...and Donna from elastica....and Cerys from Catatonia...and especially Louise from Sleeper....I need a cold shower....

One cold shower and a beating with a Radio Times later. The Jam where a band I loved from the first time I saw them on a daytime tv show back in the seventies. Don't know what the show was but I remember my mum saying that they were "boys you could take home to meet your mum". I liked the music and I guess Paul Weller got my mum moist, not a nice thought to end this ramble on but there you go it had to end somewhere.

Also if anyone has the 12" remixes album that came with the album 'What is Beat?' can they post it? ta.

http://rapidshare.de/files/13821012/E_TROS.rar.html elastica radio one sessions

http://rapidshare.de/files/13825214/TB_SBS.rar.html the beat special beat service

http://www.uploading.com/?get=S64WBH7I The jam beat surrender

http://rapidshare.de/files/13829112/TB_W.rar.html the beat wha'ppen?

http://rapidshare.de/files/13829139/snapdesktop.rar.html My homemade Jam Snap desktops enjoy

16 Feb 2006

"They offered me the office, offered me the shop, They said I better take anything they got Do you wanna make tea at the BBC? Do you wanna be, do really wanna be a cop?"

My new Motto 'Operor retineo mos adepto vos iratus'

A woman walks into her sex therapist's office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it. The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give her husband one pill that night and come back in the morning and tell her what happened. The next day, the woman comes in ecstatic telling the therapist that the pill worked and she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills and the therapist says she doesn't know, but to go ahead and try it. The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist that the sex was even better than the night before and what would happen if she gave him five pills. The therapist says she doesn't know, but to go ahead and try it. The next day, the woman comes in limp but happy, and tells the therapist that the sex just keeps getting better and what would happen if she gave her husband the rest of the bottle. The therapist says she doesn't know; it's an experimental drug and she doesn't know what a full bottle could do to a person. Anyway, the woman leaves the therapist's office and put the rest of the bottle of pills in the husband's morning coffee.
A week later, a boy walks into the therapist's office and says: "Are you the dumb fuck who gave my mother a bottle of experimental pills?" "Why, yes, young man, I did. Why?" "Well, mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my ass hurts, and dad's sittin' in the corner going "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..."

Anyway I wish I was not quite so old as I feel because I'd love to go and see the Arctic Monkeys down the road on my birthday (hint to anyone who knows me), I'd like to be at least half my age so as not to stand out like a bored geography teacher at the school disco. I suppose I could pay £300 for a scalped ticket? Then stick to the shadows clutching my freshly bought 'monkeys' tshirt and mug as some obscenely young whippersnapper looks Me up and down with a look of disdain in his/her eyes not fully realising that he/she will be here in a few years time. I really like this band as they strike me as a very exciting prospect not seen since the Jam whom they resemble in stage presence. there's also a bit of humour in the writing, not to mention that the track 'When the sun goes down' just reminds me of the borough where I work. Anyone who hasn't already should download the album presented here for your delight. I don't care what my friend says, (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), besides she likes that bloody awful group of stick insects, Pussycat Dolls (so memorable I had to look thier name up on Radio One's site). I stuck
a couple of extra tracks on the album as I think it's too short including a very funny version of
'Love Machine' by Girls Aloud (or as they're really known My girlfriends, sorry forgot the word
'imaginary' there). Also I went to the trouble of upping the Specials A's B's & Rarities. This was
going to be uploaded a few weeks back but someone else did it first.

http://rapidshare.de/files/13363815/Clash-01-05-80_Ayles.rar.html The Clash Live Aylesbury 1980

http://rapidshare.de/files/13366060/AM_-_WPSIAT_WIN.rar.html The Arctic Monkeys Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not

(NEW LINK Rename as The Specials - Stereo-Typical A's B's & Rarities.part1.rar)



The Beat in the Next post I promise :) No no honest

11 Feb 2006

"You're looking at the world through lace curtains, would they like you oput there? You're not certain." There are several mysteries I really can't fathom out, I'm not talking about the obvious ones like "where do flies go in the winter?" & "Why don't dogs understand where thier own flatulence comes from?". Or "Why don't women recognise a good thing when I beg them for sex?" Not even "How the hell did Bush and/or Blair get voted back in?" The biggy that really 'does my head in', (to use the chav vernacular), is how comes rain falls onto the countryside centuries ago. It slowly sinks into the soil absorbing nutrients, passing it's way through rocks combining minerals into it's make up and finally it will make its way along underground rivers and streams into bottling plants. It's seen governments come and go, wars start and end, empires rise and fall. It's witness to countless fashion changes and diseases, invasions and innumerable other things. That is to say it is even older than Cliff Richard, why then after hundreds of years journey does it need a 'sell by date' as soon as it gets put in a bottle? Strange that. And why do you never see a broken down AA van?
Tonight's wonderful post is More specials repost and the video clips to The Specials too as well as also.
http://rapidshare.de/files/12827575/7243-537699-0-1.rar.html More Specials

http://rapidshare.de/files/13055930/Spesh.txt.html Specials Video link

7 Feb 2006

"Eat your words but don't go hungry, words have always nearly hung me."

I want to be one of those people who do what they love for a job, but I suppose playing records is easy otherwise why would those dumb ass local dj's be able to do it? My only other options I suppose would be US President or Prime minister of the UK but then I'm not a wanker with no friends.... I have plenty of friends. Although I can be a wanker at times I'm yet to be promoted to management, I think I have to go on an Arsehole training course. (You know who you are). Now we have to go along with this work bollocks (I think it was called) where we get bigger departments and fewer staff to deal with it. What the company did was , and this is the quite amazingly good bit, they input some data into a computer (yes, yes I know) and then they let a COMPUTER tell them how to run the shop. I mean have these people never watched Sci-Fi? As we all know having computers run our lives is 'wonderful' idea because everything runs to a set pattern there are no variables, absolutely no random factors whatseover in life, or what passes for life in that shop. I mean have you seen my customers? Frankenstien's monster would beat them hands down in an FHM best looking man poll, what with the tattoos, dragging knuckles and arses hanging out of thier dirty trousers, and that's just the women. Some of the staff aren't much better, I'm still trying to find out who it was that shit themselves in our stairwell at work, it was awful we had to run up EIGHT, count them, EIGHT flights of stairs just to breath without losing the enamel on our teeth. I've lived in the country and camped in a tent near a pig farm and even I was disgusted. It was one of those that cling to the back of your throat. Perhaps it was in an effort to keep the flies off our customers? But at least it's nearly all over as I've decided to leave in the summer whatever else happens. Then I'll have to find something else to complain about on this blog. Maybe I'll actually get around to writing my novel? I certainly have enough material for a retail based situation comedy.

For those of you who like me who have a hole in thier life since Mr Peel parted company with this plain of existence then get yourself over to the new link that I've put up for you. Lots of classic shows from all over his broadcasting period, the 80's being a personal favourite of mine due to the memories of sitting under my duvet listening on an old radio the size of a double cassette box and a deaff aid earpiece. Being strangely knackered the next day at school. Anything to escape the rigours of childhood.

Tonights post is The Beatles From 1962 Star Club Hamburg, Germany (As if there's another Hamburg) from around the time of the first single. The other post is the debut album by the (English) Beat and album that I extolled the virtues of on my one and only radio appearance last year 'I just can't stop it' and the album's called that as well.

http://rapidshare.de/files/12766772/31082-2.rar.html The Beat
http://rapidshare.de/files/12770375/TBSCH62.rar.html The Beatles


3 Feb 2006

"Let's all meet up in the year 2000, won't it funny when we're all fully grown?"

I've never been one for contemplating the future much, just go with the flow it's all predetermined anyway so why struggle against the tide? But I remember a conversation we had in our little village many many years ago "What would we all be doing when we were 31 in the year 2000"? Funny how it seemed so far away in 1980, I'm pretty certain that nowhere in the conversation at any point did one of us opine that they'd spend thier friday night cleaning the grout in the bathroom. Maybe this is what Pete Townsend meant when he wrote the lyrics "I hope I die before I get old." He had a vision that he'd trade in the desert boots and 3 button suits for cardigan and carpet slippers. Wish I'd have had that vision maybe I'd have rode my bike down the crumbling cliffs one more time? I've missed my turn off in life and gone up a side alley and turned into Seymour Skinner (only without the mother). I'm hoping that along with 700 millions other people that I win the Euro lottery and can afford someone to clean the grout for me. Mind you for that money you could get whole new bathroom tile grout, no no let's not go mad here. I'll be cleaning under the fridge next......Rock and roll.

Tonights posts are The Who at Woodstock '69 including the Abby Hoffmann incident, I like the bootleg as it's loud and just how the Who should be. Just watch out for the brown acid maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan bummer, bummer. The second is a repost of The Specials First album from yesterday because somebody complained about it. I mean who complains? Is it some cyber nosey old lady twitching her e-curtains and calling the i-police?

http://rapidshare.de/files/12410513/Woodstock69.rar.html The Who
http://rapidshare.de/files/12486757/CHS-TT1.rar.html The Specials

1 Feb 2006

"All you punks and all you teds keep on fighting until you're dead."

Forgive me father it's been a week since my last post, in that time I have thought impure thoughts (especially about Alison Goldfrapp), I've coveted around ten gigs of mp3s and I've been unfaithful to my blog. In pennance I shall say three Hail and Hearties and two how's yer father's.
Anyway today's posts are the Specials eponymous first album remastered and The Complete BBC Sessions. Also I've put up the converted cd from a band Called Bigshot whom I used to knock about with just in case you'd want a pub/ska band. Probably not but it's there if you want it. For me it's just old man's nostalgia. Next stop Classic Gold on the radio and Seven Seas cod liver oil and smelling of urine, ick. The Specials was first given to me by my mate Podge who said "Ere listen to this." in his thick Norfolk accent, he gave me the album minus the sleeve as he wanted to keep it on his wall. It did have however have the cover to Oi! the album reversed and The Specials written on it in black felt tip so that was ok.
Also posted the complete BBC Sessions cd from The Specials.

Bigshot (In the Picture) was a local Ska band that I used to knock about with and we had some pretty good times but like all good things they must end before we appreciate them. It's worth a download just to get a listen. It was fun sometimes they played to hundreds and sometimes to three but we always had a laugh and enjoyed the crack. The picture I've posted was from the 'infamous' battle of the bands where they thought they had a 20 minute warm up which turned out to be the entire set. Needless to say they lost to some bollocks called 'Red Ash and The Love Commandoes' which I seem to remember was utter drivel like Kate Bush backed by a pet shop boys tribute band doing Cocteau twins covers. It was the Academy in those days and it's now the Slinky club.

http://rapidshare.de/files/12298394/7243-5-37697-0-3.rar.html Specials http://rapidshare.de/files/12235543/7243-4-97791-2-9.part1.rar.html Specials Sessions
http://rapidshare.de/files/12303896/BH-Ska.rar.html Bigshot 'Greatest Hits'