29 Jun 2008

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place
Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder

And the rain
To quietly pass me by

Tank heavens or what I did on my day off.

So we all met up in the morning bleary eyed and excited, if only for not being at the shit shop for a day or two. I'd wandered around the Bournemouth gardens for an hour to practice with the camera I was lent. I tried getting pictures of the tame and friendly squirrels but was only witness to rats. After we trundled off at high velocity in the Seat Leon it began to get hotter and hotter. So much for the forecast rain. After a while of pretending to read the map we just followed the brown road signs and got real excited once we saw the gate guardian in Bovington camp. So we park in a field full of horse apples directed in like an aircraft by the Air Cadets, we were parked with military precision. No sooner had we got in we became instant experts me and Ben through many an hour played on all The Medal Of Honor games. Oooh look an StG44 ooh look an M1 ooh a .303 Lee Enfield with scope etc etc. Quite honestly if I'd had another couple of grand in my pocket I would have needed a van to get home what with all the stuff I drooled over. I was acquainted with an old friend whilst walking around the trade stalls, an old L1A1 7.62 FN Fal rifle, I'd forgotten how heavy the bloody thing was, no wonder I was so fit. Anyhoo as soon as the tanks came on we were engrossed all of us stood there taking pictures, video and HD video. I must say that mine came out better than Chris' stuff anyway, this being the hottest day in a while and it also being relatively close to Salisbury plain we were covered in no time at all a fine layer of orange clay dust, cameras et al. What with the smell of petrol, diesel and cordite we must have stunk by the end of the day. There was actually too much to do in one day especially at my speed. I'll have to go back with more money a rucksack or possibly a van. By the end of the day with not a cloud in the sky all day we were a tad burnt, Chris more than most. I still don't know how we got lost on the way out though. Somehow we'd gone wrong , the first clue being the bus with Exeter written on the front, the second the fact that we were going towards the sun rather than away and the final clue was the sea was on the wrong side of us. So we turned about and after a while we managed to find out where we were... by the time we got to the outskirts of Poole at least. Still it all made a nice change from serving numpties and working for a manager who is an incompetant arsehole still twenty quid for three bottles of drink, two burgers and chips and one hotdog? They saw us coming. Also what idiot at the Dorset Echo decided what the goodie bags really needed on a fucking hot day was some chocolate cup cakes and a chocolate truffle? Dammit, I really wanted my old rifle.... I would promise not to reactivate it and take it to work. Ennywho jus' tuh let yu kno oim garn tah Norfuk tuh see muh sistuh, entit? At thu end or thu munth oim looken ford tuit teh tell yuh thu trooth, arn as yuh cun tell oi've bin lurnen a noo way a torkin suzz thet oi dunt stand oot loik a toorst. Oim looken fard to seein moi little neice an neffew arter a long toime so oi spect oil jus spoilum.
I expect I'll get emails from the locals complaining that the magic box what does the interweb is taking the piss but what the hell? Ahead and damn the torpedoes. Although I hope that this time I come back from Norfolk I don't end up being pushed out of my job by some arsehole in charge. It's happened before it'll happen again
. Here's the music for you, we have The Beatles - 1, The Stones - 40 Licks, The Who Quadrophenia (remastered) and Prince - 1999.

24 Jun 2008

"Some nights I still sleep on the beach.
Remember when stars were in reach.
Then I wander in early to work,
Spend the day licking boots for my perks."

I've made myself have a night off from watching every single doctor who ever ... sad bastard. Hence the T.A.R.D.I.S at the top of the page. Anyway I've decided , if there was any doubt left, that my brain hates me. There I was just ambling along in my life enjoying my job and liking at least two of my colleagues at work. Meandering my way along through life not caring a jot about being single with little or no prospects of getting the old 2.4 dogs with a semi detached wife and children with a shiny coat and wet nose or whatever it is. All of a sudden my brain says "yeah you are" and makes me dream of 'the knees' in the first she's glaring at me in the corner of a pub whilst I walk past to some of my oldest friends and say "what's the bloody point?" in the second I go past a place near here and where I used to work and she's glaring at me as I drive past in that one she's all preggers etc. I can't actually drive so I assume I was a passenger but anyway cue being depressed for a few days. The third dream wasn't too bad though as I was in Icelands and I walked past ther but was more interested in the Fruit fill Weetabix as if that'd be true. I'm over it now (until I go to sleep and my nasty brain wot doesn't like me decides otherwise) I'm just looking forward to the Tank Day on Saturday 28th June (Link) I'm going with two friends from work who were interested, also it leaves a dilemma at the shop as that day there are no managers to open. One is coming with me to look at big metal things designed to kill people and eat hot dogs. We will eat the hot dogs because, as far as I'm aware, there are no big metal machines designed to kill people and eat hot dogs ... I hope I clarified that? The other decided with two minutes notice that he was due a weeks holiday and promptly took one and the arse sistant manger is off wearing his knees out at the church that day, waste of fucking time but there you go. Still I'll be bouncing around like a sugar fed two year old at all the military hardware on show so basically if you are coming to the Bournemouth branch of Maplin on Saturday 28th of June ... erm don't. I'm trying to convince the other two fellow tank enthusiasts to try and find German first world war or second world war helmets and wear them at work the following day whilst serving cuntstomers but we'll see.
Anyway here's a shed load of vinyl as promised to you upsetter fans, with a full tracklisting in the comments file.