30 Oct 2007

"I try to get to my taxi, A man in a tracksuit attacks me. He said that he saw it before me, Wants to get things a bit gory. Girls scrabble round with no clothes on, To borrow a pound for a condom. If it wasn't for chip fat, they'd be frozen They're not very sensible."
My ritual every morning is to get off the bus a stop early and just amble around in the aviary in Bournemouth gardens making noises that a grown man shouldn't be making to small birds and squirrels at his age. I find that the brightly coloured birds of all shapes and sizes help me get relaxed enough to deal with the general public's stupidity. Also the weeks around payday I tend to finish the general good feeling with a double sausage and egg McMuffin, hash brown and what McDonalds laughingly refer to as coffee. Then I wander into work and get asked for stupid things that no sensible person could truly need. Like a pond fogger for instance. Anyway in my meanderings through the Bournemouth gardens and the sharing of hash brown remnants with every living thing except pigeons (sky rats) I notice that there are literally hundreds of squirrels everywhere. I believe that come a nuclear war (first strike Blackburn please) it won't be the cockroaches that will take over it will be bands of mutant squirrels like a tree dwelling rodent version of Mad Max. I wish to be one of their slaves to build the new Tufty utopia because even though they'd be my overlords let's face it they'd be very cute to work and die for. Besides I think with all the McDonalds and peanuts, biscuits etc that I've shared with them I'd get a cushy desk job hoarding acorns or something. The ones in Bournemouth are very tame too. They come right up to you and sometimes on your lap and take the things you offer up. Like little fluffy hoodies. Besides if the apodgyklipse does happen I'd prefer dogs to take over as we'd be able to overthrow them quite easily with some biscuits, some tennis balls and a few tummy rubs.

Here's the music Dance Craze (The US CD version), The Two Tone Story, This Are Two Tone and a 2 hour long John Peel Show full of Christmas songs. As ever with John Peel you know it'll be good. Right I'm off to play with my new printer.

Dance Craze
This Are Two Tone
The Two Tone Story
John Peel Xmas Show 1
John Peel Xmas Show 2
John Peel Xmas Show 3

N.B. Any old links that have disappeared are due to RS being twats and deleting any files that take your uploads over 20Gig. You can always ask and I'll repost the smaller files on other file hosts.

17 Oct 2007

"We've been crying now for much too long, And now we're gonna dance to a different song. Gonna sream and shout til my dying breath, Gonna smash it up til theres nothing left."
There are many things that I cannot see the point in and tanning salons are at least three of them. The one I pass on the way home is run by this 40ish man who seems to partake himself. His hue can only be described as orange, he actually looks like he was made out of orange peel. The woman he had in there looked as though she was varnished. In my travels this week I have spotted several girls wearing the legend "Hooch" across their arses wasn't that the dog in the Tom Hanks movie? What are the manufacturers trying to say? That the nation's women are dogs? I think pigs would be kinder, but not to pigs. Coming home the other night on the litter strewn bus a girl who was heavier than me but wore clothes a little too tight was dolled up to the nines. Big hoopy earrings probably from Argos, white clothes to make her bottle tan even more pronounced She seem to think that she was god's gift to man, the poor man that fucked god off must have really pissed him off for that gift. She was as friendly with tanning solution as she was a stranger to salad is all I'm saying. But she seemed to think she was Winona Ryder or Kate Winslet when it would have been closer to Vanessa Feltz in Posh Spice's clothes. I'd also like to point out that the goth look doesn't work if you aren't gaunt and pasty, not like the Miss Piggy stunt double that mounts my bus every morning. No friend to weight watchers I can tell you. Anyway I'm transfered to the Bournemouth branch so I probably won't see the ug bugs anymore woo hoo. Just as annoying is my landlord (part zombie part Rigsby) when he drives in Burnout Revenge on the Xbox. He completely missed the point of the game, IE drive fast, cause wrecks, win races, destroy cars, drive agressively and then drive really fast. In his honour I am going to try and design a game called Burnout:Drive like a pussy. It was only a matter of time before he started to use turn signals and stopping for a picnic lunch in a layby. A whole line of traffic to hit, at least thirty cars all lined and he misses every single one. Striaght down the middle. I was an old hand at the game (which is why I found it so frustrating I suppose), My pointers were ignored more or less, I was Burgess Meridith to his Sylvester Stallone trying to coach him. Although when I pointed this out to him he mentioned that unlike Burgess I didn't look like I'd been punched in the face twenty times, I thought I'd better stop a hints a hint afterall.

Anyway here's the music you came for. We have some more Wedding Present Watusi this time. The Wedding Present - *Punk (avi) live footage and video clips, Cinerama Peel Sessions part 3.
Watusi
Cinerama pt1
Cinerama pt2
*punk 1
*punk 2
*punk 3
*punk 4
*punk 5
Hyperdrive

In it's Infinite 'wisdom' the BBC has decided not to renewify the show 'Hyperdrive' . Which is a shame in my book as it was getting better and better as it developed over it's two seasons. But needs must etc and the BBC has decided that not enough people were watching it as apposed to the millions of brain dead morons who sit and watch Eastenders and those awful shows on a Saturday evening. So anyway to cut a short story long would any of you go and sign a petition at the link above to try and get some other channel to pick up the series?

New post soon and you will marvel and everyone will see you marvel.

5 Oct 2007

"I need money, I used to be a stick-up kid So I think of all the devious things I did I used to roll up, this is a hold up, ain't nuthin funny Stop smiling, be still, don't nuthin move but the money But now I learned to earn cos I'm righteous I feel great! so maybe I might just Search for a 9 to 5, if I strive Then maybe I'll stay alive"
Further to my Batman ramblings in the previous post. I figured out why he had all those labels on everything in the Batcave and Batmobile. He was a man... IE he bought all these great bat gadgets but never read the bat manuals. That's why the whole place is littered with bat post it notes saying things like "bat spectrum analyzer", "bat crime computer", "bat drinks dispenser" and "bat toilet second on the bat left". Also this could be a sign that either he was going senile or was concentrating so hard on capturing the Riddler or the Joker that he had no time left to remember which bat gadget was what. The bat mobile being labelled was easy to explain. He had to put labels on things like the Bat ejector seat, the bat siren, bat car phone, bat starter button etc because the bat log book and bat manual were locked in the bat glove compartment and he'd lost the key. Of course had he broken the lock then it would have voided the warranty therefore devaluing the car and we all know how much Batmobiles depreciate. Besides which how could you expect him to fight crime with a glove compartment that kept popping open and spraying bat travel sweets, a badly folded bat map and a bat ice scraper on the floor everytime it goes over a bump? He might as well do it in a second hand 1983 Ford Fiesta 1.1L. How no one ever worked out his secret identity is a total mystery. Chief O'hara or Comissioner Gordon would mention Bruce Wayne or his youthful ward 'Dick' Grayson in the presence of Batman and Robin then they'd look at each other and in the middle of an investigation they'd sod off having suddenly remembered they'd left the bat iron on in the bat cave. Then several minutes later they'd reenter as Bruce and 'Dick' tucking thier shirts in. The fact not withstanding that both parties talked and acted like each other anyway the only difference being one was in a suit and the other was in tights and a cape.
I guess what I'm saying is that a lot of bat water has passed under the bat bridge since I watched and enjoyed the series when I was younger. There was an episode I watched recently where Robin was attacked by Mr Freeze and Batman rescued him by rubbing him rather too vigorously
for my liking. Just imagine if it were whilst they were in thier civilian guises. The bat phone goes off...
"I'm sorry it took so long to come to the phone Comissioner. Dick was stiff and I was rubbing hard."
"well ...if it's a bad time Bruce I can call back."
Here's some more music for you. Again it's mostly the Wedding Present We have George best (with extra tracks), The Complete Wedding Present Peel Sessions and the Volume one of the Stiff rarities as I posted the wrong one yesterday.
Stiff One (Oo-er missus no don't etc)
Weddoes Peel 1
Weddoes Peel 2
Weddoes Peel 3
Weddoes Peel 4
Weddoes Peel 5
Weddoes George + pt 1
Weddoes George + pt 2