"I try to get to my taxi, A man in a tracksuit attacks me. He said that he saw it before me, Wants to get things a bit gory. Girls scrabble round with no clothes on, To borrow a pound for a condom. If it wasn't for chip fat, they'd be frozen They're not very sensible."
My ritual every morning is to get off the bus a stop early and just amble around in the aviary in Bournemouth gardens making noises that a grown man shouldn't be making to small birds and squirrels at his age. I find that the brightly coloured birds of all shapes and sizes help me get relaxed enough to deal with the general public's stupidity. Also the weeks around payday I tend to finish the general good feeling with a double sausage and egg McMuffin, hash brown and what McDonalds laughingly refer to as coffee. Then I wander into work and get asked for stupid things that no sensible person could truly need. Like a pond fogger for instance. Anyway in my meanderings through the Bournemouth gardens and the sharing of hash brown remnants with every living thing except pigeons (sky rats) I notice that there are literally hundreds of squirrels everywhere. I believe that come a nuclear war (first strike Blackburn please) it won't be the cockroaches that will take over it will be bands of mutant squirrels like a tree dwelling rodent version of Mad Max. I wish to be one of their slaves to build the new Tufty utopia because even though they'd be my overlords let's face it they'd be very cute to work and die for. Besides I think with all the McDonalds and peanuts, biscuits etc that I've shared with them I'd get a cushy desk job hoarding acorns or something. The ones in Bournemouth are very tame too. They come right up to you and sometimes on your lap and take the things you offer up. Like little fluffy hoodies. Besides if the apodgyklipse does happen I'd prefer dogs to take over as we'd be able to overthrow them quite easily with some biscuits, some tennis balls and a few tummy rubs.
Here's the music Dance Craze (The US CD version), The Two Tone Story, This Are Two Tone and a 2 hour long John Peel Show full of Christmas songs. As ever with John Peel you know it'll be good. Right I'm off to play with my new printer.
This Are Two Tone
The Two Tone Story
John Peel Xmas Show 1
John Peel Xmas Show 2
John Peel Xmas Show 3
N.B. Any old links that have disappeared are due to RS being twats and deleting any files that take your uploads over 20Gig. You can always ask and I'll repost the smaller files on other file hosts.