30 Jul 2006

"And when I'm lying in my bed I think about life And I think about death And neither one particularly appeals to me."


Well, another day off under the belt and bloody good it is too. A lovely dinner of 'toad in the hole' (no toads were harmed in the making of the dinner) and now I'm settling in to watch Top Gear even though I can't drive and in fact never had a lesson in my life. Maybe I'll get to drive across the states in an old convertible and not end up like Kowalski in Vanishing point or maybe I'll have to rely on the bus service to take me as far as London and back, what an epic adventure that would be.I notice that according to my Sunday paper (The independent) there's a sperm shortage in this country, really we never throw anything away do we? Apparently sperm donors are wanted by infertile couples, well pardon me but I've been volunteering for years to give it away for free and yet no takers, although there was that man who followed me into the Loos at Birmingham New Street station he seemed interested (which is why I ran for the train that wasn't leaving the station yet and waited twenty minutes with crossed legs for it to move out of the station). Anyway if anyone wants a sample (still warm) then apply in writing anyone outside of my local area can send a self address stamped padded envelope and I'll fill it up until I go blind. Thank god we don't have to lick the stamps anymore.Also this evening I've watched the final ever Top Of The Pops on BBC2 which if it was intended to showcase the last forty years of pop's finest to my mind it just showed that it should have died years ago. Shortly before the Spice Girls arrived if you ask me, but you didn't so I'll say it anyway. With the demise of Smash Hits and TOTP in one year does this mean that pop music is dead? Have the boy/girl bands killed it to the point where no one is interested anymore? Has the world suddenly awoke to the
fact that most chart music is pap and throw away and in our new greener world we no longer care for the disposable product? Wow fuck me I almost got a bit serious there.Normal service will be resumed asap ... Tonight's music is a wide range of choices firstly we have The Exploited whom I seem to remember being played to me on one of those old piano key tape recorders by one of the punk kids at our school I can't say I was that impressed never been a huge punk fan (apart from Siouxsie Sioux for reasons best not gone into again). Also I've posted a Bad Manners album I bought from a little record shop in the back streets of Soho WC1 that was no bigger than one of those corner newspaper kiosks and we only found it by accident Eat The Beat I remember buying it on vinyl (how old)? I wasn't that impressed at the time as it was the first Bad Manners I'd heard for a few years as you couldn't get the decent music in Norfolk in the 80's. It was shortly after that it was withdrawn because Buster had bought the rights to use the Blue Beat Label but not the Melodisc bit so he encroached on the copyright. I've also decide to
reupload The Beatles Live in Paris 1965 who are a little known band but may go far call me stupid if you like but I think they've got what it takes. Also we've got The Lambrettas Beat Boys In A Jet Age which is one of the last CDs I got free from Dojo records when I was doing the old cut and paste fanzine 'The Upsetter' back in the nineties. Then just because I've had it in the walkman the last few days here's the original album version of The Who's Quadrophenia which has more tracks than the soundtrack and some different recordings of the others and I like it cos it's loud. There you go enjoy the music and don't forget to remember something or other I forget what I was ... something to do with a doodad or a doobry.
Anyway don't forget my offer of being a sperm door especially if you are an attractive supermodel, old biffas like kathy burke or Anne Widdecombe need not apply but can send money and an envelope and I'll fill it up until I'm either a:blind or b:inside out.

http://rapidshare.de/files/27558622/TE-DFTC.rar The Exploited - Don't Forget The Chaos

http://rapidshare.de/files/27561292/BM-ETB.rar Bad Manners - Eat The Beat

http://rapidshare.de/files/27563463/TB-LIP65.rar The Beatles - Live In Paris 1965

http://rapidshare.de/files/27565855/TL-BBIAJA.rar The Lambrettas - Beat Boys In A Jet Age

http://rapidshare.de/files/27571208/TW-QOST.part1.rar The Who Quadrophenia (Original Album)

http://rapidshare.de/files/27573359/TW-QOST.part2.rar

27 Jul 2006

"What is life apart from memories or Dreams and friendships we have known.
And it smells childhood tales Contemplating clothes that you have worn
Oh what do I knowThere's gotta be so much I don't know."

I think the ice cream man is sulking with us as we didn't go out to grab armfuls of Nobbly Bobbly's and Toffee Crunches the other night not even the second time he went down our road (with chimes slightly louder), we just made noises like we weren't there. So tonight when we want some iced loveliness with a flake in it he's teaching us a lesson, bloody pushers all the same.
I downloaded the screener of 'Clerks 2' the other night and it made me laugh my bollocks off (so now I'm on the bollock transplant waiting list), the only bit I didn't like (apart from the sound of some twat who recorded this didn't realise that we'd hear him/her eating the popcorn he'd bought) was the bit where a naked Jay has his naughty bits tucked back and is stood there with his coat open, apart from that part it was fine. Funny how I didn't mind the gay man/donkey bestiality. I think this is without doubt the funniest Kevin Smith movie yet. I'll go and see it at the cinema (if they release it down here that is) usually we get all the shit stuff like 'Fun with Dick & Jane' never the good movies I want to see. (Not all the movies I want to see have Gay Men and/or Donkey sex in them either) some of them have gay ladies in them ... especially if you go downstairs and look on my landlord's shelves when it's like the local video store of Ellen Degeneres. I've got nothing against anybody you understand it's just that I feel cheated that I never get to see any Lesbians that look like Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct, Salma Hayek in that movie 'Frida' or the two out of 'Bound' most of the ones that frequent our somewhat downtrodden area at work are always lookalikes of the East German 1970's Women' Shot putt team you know the ones with Tom Selleck mustaches. Besides they'd never let me watch. It's not easy being a lesbian trapped in a man's body but we all have our pecadiloes I got mine from an exotic pet shop, the man said it was a rare Belgian Pecadilo but secretly I suspect it's just you common or garden lesser spotted Pecadilo. To the untrained eye it looks remarkably like a cat with some anttenae glued to it's head and when a broached the subject with the man in Honest Bill's Exotic pet shop he scoffed at my lack of knowledge and gave me a photocopied pamphlet on 'care and attention of The Belgian Pecadilo' In it it said "many people assume that the Pecadilo is just a cat with some anttenae glued to it's head, but they are wrong and in no way should people call the police or animal welfare people at all." It went on "please ensure that you Pecadilo has plenty of milk to drink and a box full of cat litter to do it's business in." "Occassionaly your pecadillo may catch mice and bring them home for you this is normal do not panic and remember that pecadilos have a penchant for cat food and playing with balls of wool." So Tiger the pecadillo and I are fine and dandy despite the lack of ice cream. ... I need rest.
Anyway tonight's posts are Siousxie and the Banshees live at the Wharfield in San Fransisco 2002 (incidentally Upsetter fans Siouxsie is the second woman to ever give me an erection the first being Princess Leia, what? too much information? OK just pretend I didn't say it then) Also tonight we have The Manic Street Preachers - Generation Terrorists which has my favourite track of theirs 'motorcycle emptiness' on it. With this album when they made the jump from the welsh punks only played by Steve Lamaqc to the pop stars that they later became I must admit that I didn't like them at first I used to refer to them as The Janet Street Porters (google it for those of you who don't know she's somehow gotten herself on tv with the worst voice ever and an enormous overbite). Finally we have The Who - Quadrophenia OST which is a fantastic album and I listen to it a lot, there's a Quadrophenia Special Edition DVD out soon which is going to get payed to death when it arrives from Amazon. Anyway enjoy the music and so long as Aol can stop dumping my ass offline every hour or so then I'll up some more in the next few days.
Hasta luego

http://rapidshare.de/files/27066762/STB-TWSF25-04-02.rar Siouxsie who gave me a woody (oops sorry)

http://rapidshare.de/files/27071245/TMSP-_GT.rar Manic Street Preachers

http://rapidshare.de/files/27074988/TW-QOST.part1.rar The Who - Quadrohenia OST

http://rapidshare.de/files/27076911/TW-QOST.part2.rar

25 Jul 2006

"Ooh I need your love babe, Guess you know it's true.Hope you need my love babe, Just like I need you.Hold me, love me, hold me, love me.Ain't got nothin' but love babe, Eight days a week."
Funny how a day off from work will put everything right with the world isn't it? Despite having to deal with idiots all day (management not customers) and real idiots (customers not management) I'm in a remarkably good humour for the tired and bedraggled mess that I really am. Yestrerday however was a totally different matter all together. After the idiots (management not customers) wound me up and then left me to stew all weekend I had to deal with some real idiot (customer not management) dropping 5 litres of fencecare paint all over my floor/products/shelves/price tickets/under shelves/fixturing etc. 3 hours it took to clean it up and by bollocks I was ready to take on god himself in a pitched battle,it really was a case of "Hulk Smash" i'm afraid but fortunately I have an off switch now and I don't shout at people anymore. My tongue has teeth marks in it. I just chill in the sun whilst waiting for the buses home and listen to my music on the walkman. I do like the summer even if the last time I actually sunbathed was at Live aid in '85 (fell asleep to Status Quo and woke up to Queen instant Lobster boy) the girls wear less and all those gorgeous ones who have been hiding all winter suddenly come out of the wood work and outnumber the munters. Peanut smuggling season I call it for obvious reasons. Although that fat woman on the bus tonight should never have been allowed near the lycra section. Ya see years ago when I used stand talking to the bloke who ran the kebab shop as we used to watch the women in the gym across the road (a very good view until they frosted up the windows) that was an attractive sight to behold in lycra. Not so this woman who resembled the garbage bag I took out to the bin the other night with legs and where she'd been sat down on the seat she'd sweated and her legging had become 'lodged' so when she arose it was like a camel chewing a boiled sweet.

Tonight's music is from the Sex Pistols their last ever gig from the Winterland in 1978. Not really a Sex Pistols fan myself punk seemed to never reach us in the backwoods of Norfolk until around 1988 (shortly after we found out that Queen Victoria had died). I hope you enjoy the music sans spitting :)

http://rapidshare.de/files/26999048/SP_-_14-01-78W.rar Sex Pistols

Tra la la for now (Bonjour ma petite fleur) ;)

23 Jul 2006

"The best things in life are freeBut you can keep 'em for the birds and beesNow give me money (that's what I want)."

Hmmm well what an exciting day in the life of me. I do my laundry, cook lunch and listen to 'Dread at the controls' by Mikey Dread in the sunshine streaming in my window having spent half the afternoon swearing at my computer for not working properly. I should have been at the chardiee football match this afternoon shouting in support for my team mates but what the hell who else was going to hoover my carpet or clean the toilet? So long as they kicked the ball in our manager's face who is loyalling playing for the other team whom he's trying to suck up to so he gets promoted.

I was going to go as my Chinese horrorscope for the year said said I was going to meet my true love at a sporting event, pffft how those things get printed god alone knows. 60 Million people in the country and only 12 zodiac signs that makes5 million people all having the same day? If you read more than one they all say different things so does anyone actually read these things? Does anybody actually read this thing? :) I know for a fact that over 50,000 of you have been here to download the gubbings I put up, hello to you all.

oooh hold on just got to go and get my Calippo out of the freezer our Ice cream pusher arrived just as my landlord had made a cuppa PG's finest. I saw the most beautiful thing today (apart from those knees) it was this metallic purple 60's Plymouth going past my laundrette, they'll now have CCTV footage of my running to the window and sticking my face to it like a Garfield toy leaving an imprint in sweat and slobber on the window of my handsome (!?) visage. I still want to bugger across the states in classic car such as the Pontiac GTO in the picture above. All I need is the money ... and a driving licence. I know it was a Plymouth as by the time I got across the laundromat I only saw the tail lights disappearing down the high street. I think it was god mocking me especially when I checked the lottery numbers and found (yet again) that I only had the bonus number ... it's no wonder I get depressed.

Decided against the Callippo as it's too late to have sticky fluids dribbling down your chin (although I know couple of people who would disagree ;) ) so I went for one my many free Cornettos ... I can recommend this Ice Cream man highly he gives regular customer freebies.

Tonight's music is The blockheads from a BBC 6 Music Session with guest stars of Tom Robinson and Suggs. Then we have A greatest hits compilation from the Jam which can only be a good thing. Also I've reupped the Who's 30 years of maximum R& B boxset that LS Bee put up on his blog before he decided to sadly call it a day.

http://rapidshare.de/files/26657273/TJ_-_GH.rar The Jam - Greatest Hits

http://rapidshare.de/files/26654351/TBlock-SMS.rar The Blockheads 6 Music Session

http://rapidshare.de/files/26549665/TW-30YOMRAB.part1.rar The Who Boxset

http://rapidshare.de/files/26455404/TW-30YOMRAB.part2.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/26651928/TW-30YOMRAB.part3.rar

Enjoy & see ya in the funny papers

21 Jul 2006

"Well I could call out when the going gets tough.The things that we've learnt are no longer enough.No language, just sound, that's all we need know, to synchronise love to the beat of the show."
So Paris Hilton's album has been delayed apparently, maybe someone at the record label suddenly realised that she is a talentless nurk who doesn't need the money and is taking the cash from another more productive and less rich individual who wouldn't be doing it as a hobby until she inherits daddy's hotel empire? Perhaps we should lock her in a room with Pete Doherty then they can fuck and take each other out by overdose. Especially as I splice his coke with Vim :) Anyway why is she popstar? 'Talent' aside for the moment she's not even that good looking and yet she's a model? I've seen better looking women in the street, well not in the streets near where I work those ones are more like
"Of course Mummy loves you Callum look mummy has tattoed your name on her arm". But you know what I mean, there are many many better looking women in the world ... apart from Noami Campbell. Helena Christiansen for a start, Helena Bonham Carter, Kate Winslett, Winona Ryder, the lady at work with the knees et al. Yet we're subjected to Paris Fucking Hilton.
No manager again today woo hoo. Take it easy and just do the jobs I need to do and don't get stressed kind of day. So me and my glamourous assistant (pictured above) just chilled and got on with a nice easy day and got excited as the Misfits are playing locally in September and so a re the Pippettes whom I'm liking at the moment. I wonder if the pippettes would like a groupy?
Anyway enough bollocks here's tonight's post Which was to be The Who but my aol connection keeps cutting out just as there's only two minutes left to upload so I've upped Bad Manners' Magnetism (The Best Of) instead. All the original hits and unusually for Bad Manners original recordings. 21 tracks and the covers are included. http://rapidshare.de/files/26557417/BM-MTBO.rar
Bad Manners - Magnetism

20 Jul 2006

"You have broken through my armour and I don't have an answer I love you all the same"

Work isn't so much of a chore these last couple of days. This being mainly due to the fact that yesterday was my day off and today the manager had his day off. Also I'm helped by the fact that some of the idiots have stayed away from the branch. Maybe they are down the beach getting melanomas because they don't wear sunscreen, I know I don't but then I'm only in the sun for an hour each evening so there isn't much of a point really. I'll be lucky if I get anything other than the British pale blue hue that we normally carry as a nation. I stand there looking with increasing disdain at the mishapes that inhabit the borough where I work and just drift away with the Cocteau twins in my earphones. I've no idea what she sings but there you go it sounds nice. It was my little French friend Raymone who got me into them originally when she sent me a cd to ween me off the punk and Ska I was listening to at the time. Now I just listen to that as well as the Punk and Ska. Mind you I listen to most things nowadays. At the moment I'm ploughing my way through several of John Peel's festive fifties what very nice man uploaded to a forum what I'm on. Also I've got a new dvd player to play my DivX files on and my region 1 disks (Cyberhome 4010 on Amazon). Best £33.39 i've ever spent.
I see that my counter is about to clock 50,000 hits woo hoo.(God knows Why?) I was going to try and be clever and post The Fall's 50,000 Fall Fans Can't Be Wrong but I couldn't find it in time. So in the end I've had to put up Rancid's 'Out Come The Wolves' which is an album I played to death for ages then kind of forgot about due to massive stolen mp3 and broadband connection. Tomorrow or sometime soon I'll put up the Who's 30 years of Maximum R&B boxset as I know some people didn't get in time off of LS Bee's sadly missed blog. Also in the next few days I'll be uploading some more Who, Some Rancid, Sex Pistols, bad Manners, Specials and Selector, Manic Street Preachers, The Blockheads and The Jam, so keep 'em peeled towards this page. Also some reposts are imminent.
In the near future I plan to upload The My Name Is Earl Seriesso you can see what I like about the show if you haven't seen it yet.

This Made me laugh abit personally i would have plugged the damn blanket in. :)

http://news.aol.co.uk/article.adp?id=20060719161009990011&CLI=16009117

http://rapidshare.de/files/26449554/R-OCTW.rar Rancid Out Come The Wolves

17 Jul 2006

"Heaven smiles above me What a gift here below But no one knows"


Six Weeks to go and then I'll be free of debt for the first time in nearly sixteen years. Personally I can't wait maybe I'll jack in the job too? Maybe I'll stay long enough to buy the PSP, iPod and the TFT Monitor I want then tell my manager where to stick his job and all the bullshit that goes with it. I know that managers are just real tossers that make out they like you and then turn on you the first time they can. Well no more favours for him then the cock knocker that he is. He's the pillock who can't send email attachments even afetr an hour and a half lesson. Still he's being promoted soon as we all know it's not only cream that floats to the surface.
Anyway onto other less annoying stuff the weather here is sweltering and our Ice cream man is back after the weekend off, he now parks right outside the house so as not to make my ragged old landlord walk too far. One orange flavoured Callipo later and alls right with the world, it must be the drugs he puts into the mix. I now listen out for the sound of a diesel engine pulling into our road and the strains of "Teddy Bears' Picnic" over the tinkly bells tannoy thing Ice Cream vans have. He's obviously been missed over the weekend by his addicts as he was there for around ten minutes or so normally he'll serve us to sad fucks and our neighbour next door and sometimes Mr & Mrs Arsehole who slams car doors all night across the road and that's it. But there the whole road stood fidgeting from foot to foot as if on smack and they really needed their next fix of a strawberry mivvy. Grey and gaunt even after several weeks of (Unheard of) British sunshine. I think several of them have taken to theft to finance the addiction, I know we in this household have £4.50 a day habit. Although I nearly went cold turkey tonight as I nearly didn't want one, but my 12 step program fell by the wayside and I had a callipo rather than the usual 99 with two flakes and some nuts. See? I can handle it. Mind you it'll be a test to see if we are addicted if we are all stood out there in the winter with the snow falling around our ears whilst we hop from foot to foot to stay warm wrapped in old newpapers and trying to buy a "knobbly bobbly on account as we're good for the money, just a lemonade sparkle to see me through. I've never let you down before I'll get the money just give me some hundreds and thousands on account please?" The ice cream will be smuggled in from the finest Italian factories inside desperate travellers stomachs inside balloons. His ice cream van will be covered in bling with lowered suspension and wire wheels and faux fur in the cab. I think I need to get out more.
Anyway tonight's post is from the Mega pop star band Madness. A bootleg dating form the early 1980's back when I was a young whip of a lad my god if I could go back in time and tell myself the horror stories of adulthood I think I'd either have studied more or thrown myself off the 100 foot cliffs at the back of our house. Anyway here's the post.
http://rapidshare.de/files/26118522/M-ND83.part1.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/26119727/M-ND83.part2.rar
PS As a footnote top last night's regular rant at celebrity here's a quote from Jodie Marsh a bimbette of little or no talent. "The eskimos are uncivilised because they have no shops". Role model if ever I heard one. Or is that crash test dummy?

16 Jul 2006

"Some people might say my life is in a rut,But I'm quite happy with what I gotPeople might say that I should strive for more,But I'm so happy I can't see the point."
Well another series of Big Brother is just as crap and full of non entities as the other 6 series were. Which all lends weight to my theory , (By Anne Elk that's A.N.N.E Elk not An Elk) that all celebrities are as dull as the rest of us they just have better teeth. Why mags and tabloid papers are full of these knobs going to some premiere or other is beyond me. we all go to the cinema we just don't have a thousand photographers shouting our names to look this way whilst they all snap the same 12 frames of the latest dumb ass to turn up wearing a dress made up of three handkerchiefs and some string. And they follow them around the streets now taking pictures of the shlebs going to do the shopping. I'm not actually sure that a shot of some actress going to buy some oven chips from Iceland is worth the effort of reading the women's mags (can you tell I've been to the local laundromat and forgot my book again?) I don't think for a minute that Gwyneth Paltrow et al actually go to Iceland's frozen food emporium and buy frozen mini chicken kievs on a two for one offer ... they'd probably get them from Harrods or somewhere.
I'm not sure of whom I'm more annoyed at for all these papparazzi photos, the paperrazzi themselves or the shlebs for playing the game? After all no one forced them into the selling your under talented arse for the big screen, you wanted to be loved because you are an insecure little person just like the rest of us only we have the fortitude to get up every morning and schlep our way into a job we hate because that's the real world (can you tell I've got to go back to work tomorrow?) I was reading that an actor had to get up at 4 in the morning to sit through make up and start shooting and how tough it was etc etc, hmm and only the million of dollars to console themselves with too. Six months work on a film try doing it for minimum wages for years I hate film stars I may have mentioned once or twice?
Only six more weeks and I can go and take a dump on my bank manager's desk because after nearly sixteen years I am nearly out of debt. I can finally afford the little things in life like shoes,eating, breathing etc. Big fuck off sized cake for all my friends when I do pay off the final payment (possibly just a six pack of Kipling's mini victoria sponges then in that case). It's been long and hard but not in a good way but I'll finally stop having to steal my landlord's gold teeth (actually they are wood as he's so cheap). In fact I can also stop stealing bread as unfortunately you don't actually get deprted to Australia for that anymore ... as I found out. Dammit.
Anyway tonights postings are 25 Elastica bootlegs and the original radio adaptaions of Star Wars. I thought it would make a change from all the Ian Dury (more later if you want it?) and that's the end of all that bollocks as it's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum here in 'dear' old blighty. Even hotter tomorrow oh good that'll drive all those sweaty fat men in vests into my shop. ick. There's a distinct lack of yummy mummies at the moment as they all seem to be down the beach which is a shame as I can't see them from my department.

http://rapidshare.de/files/26006221/Elastica_Boots_List.txt

http://rapidshare.de/files/26019912/SW_ORD_-_EP4_ANH.part1.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/26023360/SW_ORD_-_EP4_ANH.part2.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/26029971/SW_ORD_-_EP4_ANH.part3.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/26030266/SW_ORD_-_EP4_ANH.part4.rar

11 Jul 2006

" I lie in my bed - totally still, My eyes wide open - I'm in rapture. I don't believe this, I'm in love again "

Ladies & Gentlemen The world's luckiest kitten.

So it's five a side football for charity season again. This is the annual event where I get to kick the area manger and pretend it was an accident. All for charity. This year it's for the NSPCC's Full Stop campaign (www.nspcc.org.uk) any donations gratefully recieved btw :). I notice that Amazon sell home defibrilators an item we may need a great need for with more than a majority of us being old enough and certainly wide enough to know better than to huff and puff up and down a football pitch and being shown up by the younger members of our company. Mind you I may use it on the area manger shouting "clear!" and pressing it to his chest at full current. bzzttt! "fuck off "he'd say "I was just asleep" "Oh sorry" I'd lie before making sure with the defibrilator just one more time ... or so. It's all for charity.

I was hoping to get some money together to open 'Seventies World'tm. This is a theme park where you'd turn up at the gate and exchange your clothes for old second hand stuff that your mum bought at a jumble sale, mostly nylon shirts (remeber those sparks if you got changed with the lights off at night?) and trousers that would get caught in the chain of your bike that you'd ride around and it has a piece of card in the spokes to make it sound like a motorbike. The more adventurous of the customers could have spacehoppers (and a special nurse on stand by for bitten tongues). People could enjoy the dirt and squallor in the streets from the Winter of Discontent and TV and electricity would end after the 10 O'clock news. Afternoon telly would consist of a test card and or horse racing. Lunch would be a cheese or ham sandwich (never together Cheese and Ham sandwiches not being invented until 1982)that has been lovingly crafted by smearing stork margarine over two slices of thin mother's pride white bread. Placed inside would be some kind of waxy cheese that has begun to sweat inside a tupperware box in the hot boot of a Vauxhall Viva between Norfolk and the south coast of England. Strikes would be frequent and limiting park services to three days only. Washing services available would be 1 type of shampoo (25p 'New' Pence for 3 gallons as litres were demonised as being 'too foriegn'), 1 type of palmolive soap (large green bar too big for kids to hold) and 1 type of fairly adequate soap powder. Baths limited to one a week and six inches of water only and you are advised to share. As you retire after your sumptuos meal of Fray Bentos steak and kidney pie baked in the tin, garden peas and boiled potatoes with a pudding of either angel delight or raspberry ripple ice cream (deluxe package only), your evening would be completed by watching one of three channels on the tv (mostly one as no remote controls and you can't be bothered to 'get up and change over') programming consists of fat middle aged men telling racist, sexist or ageist jokes regarding family members (usually Mothers In Law)or foriegners (usually referred to as 'darkies'), or on the other channels you have fat middle aged men chasing large breasted women around with the intent of gaining sexual favours and not being arrested. When you decide to turn in for the night closing your brown and orange floral curtains and changing into bri-nylon pyjamas and climbing into your nylon sheets, marvel at the sparks generated as you slide your legs down the bed. New this season buildings have that extra 70's feel by smearing them with decades of soot and grime and the streets are liberally decorated with white dog shit.

Anyway there were things that were ok about the seventies Ian Dury being one of them. Here's two albums from the man himself 'Laughter and 'Do It Yourself' both two disk versions with a large amount of demos and rare tracks. Hope you enjoy them.

http://rapidshare.de/files/25641679/IDANDTB-DIY2D.part1.rar DIY

http://rapidshare.de/files/25644585/IDANDTB-DIY2D.part2.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/25645177/IDANDTB-DIY2D.part3.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/25647988/IDANDTB-L2D.part1.rar Laughter

http://rapidshare.de/files/25649836/IDANDTB-L2D.part2.rar

10 Jul 2006

" Sit on my face and let my lips embrace you I'll sit on your face and THEN I'LL LOVE YOU TRULY Life can be fine if we both sixty-nine IF WE sit on our faces in all sorts of places and play 'Till we're blown away."

It's been my first day back at work and that being so I decided to take a leaf out of the management handbook and do bugger all. By god I did it well too. I was watching 'Clerks' the other day when a bit of dialogue between Dante and Randall caught my attention. Now I know that it's a bit 'psycho' to start ruling your life by what is said on your tv, afteer all it's a short step to wearing tin foil hats and claiming that the aliens are out to get you, but this made me think "Aha" (the dialogue not the aliens bit). The gyst of it was that the reason they hate the customers is that they aren't mad at them although they are maddening they are mad at themselves for not improving there life and just stagnating in their jobs because they are comfortable. It was a moment of clarity maybe that was what my problem was? Mind you having dealt with the idiots for more than a few hours today I can quite catagorically say it's more one than the other.

Here's tonight's postings of the two disk version of New Boots and Panties by Ian Dury & The Blockheads. Disk two consists of alternate takes and demo versions. Sorry it's only a short post tonight but you know I'm cream crackered and may fall asleep on the keyboard at any given ..zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

http://rapidshare.de/files/25360365/ID_TB-NB_P2D.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.de/files/25362345/ID_TB-NB_P2D.part2.rar

6 Jul 2006

" In the day we sweat it out on the streets of a runaway American dream At night we ride through mansions of glory in suicide machines Sprung from cages out on highway 9, Chrome wheeled, fuel injectedand steppin' out over the line."




I'm so looking forward to Clerks 2 coming out. As you may be able to tell I'm a bit of a Kevin Smith Fan. I've just watched All the movies apart from Clerks 1 because I watched it about a month ago. Recently I downloaded 'Drawing flies' which by the look of it is an early one because Jason Lee looks about 12. Again it's in black and white and it looks like it'll be an enjoyable one. Recently I watched an evening with kevin Smith which seemed to be a load of American college students asking him whether he wanted to get high or whether one party could suck the other guys dick or what? I'm glad I didn't pay for that one. I can't decide if it's the aimless generation X thing that I identify with or the fact that I've had conversations regarding superheoes or the fact that they are just funny?
Speaking of Jason Lee if you haven't watched 'My Name Is Earl' yet then do so. I may post them here if I don't have anything else to do. It's another thing where all the elements in the story are intertwined and the characters all have histories which get disclosed little by little to aid the story, but they only say enough to get you intrigued.
I'd like to drive across the states in old Plymouth Fury or somesuch with my mp3 collection and huge trunk due to buying copious amounts of stuff. Especially in Jay & Silent Bob's Secret Stash, I'd have to buy a reeaaalllly big car maybe a truck. oh well it's all fantasy anyway due to several reasons. One I haven't got any money, two I can't actually drive and three I'll probably be refused entry against all the things I've said about Bush and his butt monkey, (to quote Xander from Buffy), Blair. Still I can dream as much as I want.
Tonight's music is a load of Madness Demos and lost tracks, which I found on
www.chassmash.com but to save you registering and finding them I did it. There's a few from the 'Lost' album that later half turned into the 'The Madness' album of 1988 and some that never saw the light of day. There's even some with a vocal track that were originaly released as instrumentals. Hope you like them I'm currently listening to them and it pisses me off that a couple of years ago Mr Chas Smash himself stated quite catagoricaly that there were no missing demos etc when I asked him about it on his site. The txt file I put in there I just realised doesn't note them all, so don't get worried if it's not listed I just forgot. :p
Incidentally sorry to the people who asked for repost I forgot to check the email account for this site and well they'll be re upped as soon as possible. Providing I can stop watching Kevin Smith films, My Name Is Earl and day dreaming about driving from sea to shining sea in a convertable '65 Plymouth Fury. Maybe it wouldn't be a good idea seeing how some of my favourite movies are Vanishing Point, Cannonball Run, The Driver, Smokey & The Bandit and Mad Max 2.

Just my luck it's National Kissing day in the UK and I'm stuck inside due to rain. I suppose if my luck carries on this way it'll be National be hugged by a pissy smelling old lady day tomorrow when I go and squander my hardly earned wages.

http://rapidshare.de/files/25137048/LostNuts.part1.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/25139855/LostNuts.part2.rar Enjoy

http://rapidshare.de/files/25140025/LostNuts.part3.rar

4 Jul 2006

"God save the Queen'Cos those tourists are money And our figure head Is not what she seems."

This morning is the second day of my week off and it's just like Christmas. The Postman arrives, which my landlord insists on calling him 'postie' in some old sitcom type way for some reason he has. Anyway everything that arrived was for me, my new Douglas Coupland - 'Hey Nostradamus!' my magazine and a cd boxset of 80's stuff. The only difference being that with christmas and birthdays you don't have to pay for it yourself and you don't get what you want anyway. So really this morning was nothing like Christmas it was a bad anology sorry. It's even too hot to sleep past 0800 which is very annoying when you haven't got anywhere to go. So that's another reason it's nothing like Christmas .. apart from christmas in a hot place like Australia. G'day to any Aussies reading this btw. Happy 4th of July to any Americans. Yes two hundred and thirty years of freedom from the shackles of inbred royal rule. No longer did you have to suffer the oppression of unfair taxation without representation. You threw off the misrule of English Kings (although he was German really) where you were free to elect your own government run by fair and honest men unsullied by the corruption that beset the British parliament, free to elect a man of sound mind and of great intelligence to the high office of President a 'Solomon' wise man figure if you will ... I ... ah, yes well.

Happy 4th of July anyway.


I like the idea of overthrowing the royal family and replacing them with waxworks. They'd be slightly less inbred for a start fucking chinless wonders. Apparently the queen costs each one of us in the UK 62p each well I want a fucking refund that's £22.94 they owe me for a start. That's £37,200,000 between the lot of us who by the way have no say in the matter whether we want to pay for a family of retards, anybody else want them? Just think of all the good that good come from spending all that money on other things like schools and hospital. Not to mention the other incomes she has from owning land etc, how anyone can 'own' a piece of the earth is beyond me. Also she has this huge art collection that is in her care, she is only the custodian of it as it belongs to the nation but only 1% of it is on show. I say bring back the ancient lost art of Regicide only along with everything else that makes a comeback make it bigger and better.
Anyway now that I've had a few moments to change from Lou Ferrigno to Bill Bixby again here's today's post yes it's another motherload of Smiths Bootlegs. 20 altogether which should keep you busy for a while.

http://rapidshare.de/files/24945814/Even_Mo_Smiths.txt

2 Jul 2006

"But I'll keep on fighting for the things I want Though I know that when you're dead you can't But I'd rather be a free man in my grave Than living as a puppet or a slave"

You know you'd think I would be used to disappointment what with being a Norwich City fan and all. But yesterday was extremely so due to the fact that the Brazilians were out played by Les Bleus and as a result went out. Shame, so long as Portugal don't win then I'll be happy. I should know by now that despite every four years thinking to myself "we've got the strongest side since the last tournament we should do it this time." We
don't. To my mind England played much better as a team in the last tournament than they did in this one. I still say that my idea of picking the teams that qualify at random so they can play or not play to their full extent and if they get a group where there are four 'smaller' nations in it then great at least some of the smaller nations would qualify instead of already knowing when to book the flight home (like Scotland). I think FIFA would never do this as there's a chance that a big nation or two wouldn't make it through and therefore they would lose revenue, which unfortunately is what it all boils down to these days. But at least we'd avoid the groups where they already know they only need to draw against the othe big nation in the group to get through. Just imagine what would have happened if England had had to have made a better than the half arsed performance
against the Swedes? I would love to see a smaller nation get through to the final because it's getting like the premiership where only the usual suspects need apply. It's kind of like a Smart car trying to keep up with a Ferrari sure you could try and keep pace but whilst the Ferrari is coasting along to a certain victory you are the one in danger of sending
the pistons through the hood. I wonder if we see a headline later in the new season about Rooney and Ronaldo smacking each other on the training ground? Let's hope Rooney doesn't lose that one as well. On another note is it me or does Ribery cut his own hair? I haven't seen an awful haircut like that since Peter Beardsley. Never mind I'll just go back to my Douglas Coupland books which I'm reading at a rate of knots at the moment. It's either that or actually talk to the Darth Vader clone at work (nose breather). Bloody woman. So far in the last few weeks I've read Miss Wyoming, Generation X (reread), Shampoo Planet (reread), All families are psychotic and I'm awaiting a couple more
through Amazon. I might get 'Girlfriend in a coma' and reread that too. If you haven't read any of his work then I suggest that you try one. I can recommend Microserfs too. Also the british author Martin Millar is worth a read too especially, 'Suzy, Led Zeppelin And Me' , 'The Good Fairies Of New York' and 'Love and peace with Melody Paradise' which is one of my favourites of his.

Still finding my Name is Earl very funny and not just to do with the fact that Jaime Pressly and Nadine Velasquez are extremely beeeyootiful either before you say anything. It's a very original idea for a sitcom which makes a change from all the usual crap I spot on ABC 1 on our digiboxes over here in the UK. It's also better than most series we make here too I mean my god who on earth keeps making 'My Family'? Mind you it wasn't till I rewatched 'Mallrats' recently that I realised it was Ethan Suplee staring at the sail boat magic eye picture and the comic book fan in 'Chasing Amy'. Quick on the uptake me.

Anyway the music this time is an excellent post from those people at family recordings called 'New Waves: 45 Orginal 45s from The Post Punk Era'. it comprises of some of the best of that era and the Boomtown Rats. This is the same record label as the people who bring out all those 12"/80's compilations so there's someone working there that knows his onions which is unusual for a record label.

http://rapidshare.de/files/24747302/VA-NW.part1.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/24750324/VA-NW.part2.rar

http://rapidshare.de/files/24751375/VA-NW.part3.rar

Enjoy