"Hello good evening and welcome to nothing much, a no holds barred half Nelson with a loving touch."
Firstly let me start by apologising for the lack of posts in the last few days, I lay the blame
fully at the door of one Mr G. Lucas esq. California for giving the go ahead for the 'Star Wars:Empire at War' game and also for man who said "let's invent the internet so we can share music and get them to fill up their hard drives".
It's a funny old world isn't it? I mean Shrek-a-like granny shagger Wayne Rooney has been given £5 Million to 'write' 5 books over the next twelve years. Now call me cynical but that's a lot of colouring books to shift for that publisher to get back their investment. I mean come on he's no Norman Mailer is he? Not just him though I see that top heavy dim bulb gynaecological model Jordan had them queueing around the block in Manchester at a book signing. Jesus how can you spread 'shagged footballer & showed everyone my insides for a living' to three hundred pages? Maybe the stranglers should have written 'No more heroes' today? No one is worthwhile a biography at the moment there's no one to inspire a generation. If I look to my left at my bookshelves I can see the biographies of several people, John Lennon, HG Wells, Alec Guiness, John Peel, Spike Milligan and Winston Churchill. All of which I'm sure you'll agree where world changing people in their fields. None are twenty year old dumb asses who kick a bag of air about on the grass or drop their undies and show the world their oysters.
I think I'll start a revolution and I'll use Hello magazine as my hitlist. First on the list for my very own gestapo (after customers who ask for 'electric lightbulbs'), would George Dubya and Y Not B Liar (anag) followed very closely by famous for being famous (and extremely dumb) Paris Hilton. I think it's just this insane jealous rage speaking here but why does she bother to live? Let's face it she doesn't have to work for a living, all she has to do is tread water until her parents die and she'll get untold wealth from the Hilton hotel empire. I think that programme where her and that Nicky Whatserface do different jobs badly just shows contempt for the working men and women and the French did in the aristocracy for less. Incedentally is she named after a place she was concieved, like Brooklyn Beckham? I was going to be named that way but 'John Lewis carpark after dark, Chesham' is a bit of a silly name for a child don't you think?
After all that bollocks here's the bit you're really interested in the music. Two gems from Sir Ian of Dury. Handsome by Kilburn And The Highroads (re issued version with extra tracks) and Reasons to be cheerful a best of compilation.
(new links for greatest hits 17-03-06) Happy Shaint Patricksh day