My new Motto 'Operor retineo mos adepto vos iratus'
A woman walks into her sex therapist's office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and they never have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it. The therapist tells her that she has an experimental drug that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give her husband one pill that night and come back in the morning and tell her what happened. The next day, the woman comes in ecstatic telling the therapist that the pill worked and she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills and the therapist says she doesn't know, but to go ahead and try it. The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist that the sex was even better than the night before and what would happen if she gave him five pills. The therapist says she doesn't know, but to go ahead and try it. The next day, the woman comes in limp but happy, and tells the therapist that the sex just keeps getting better and what would happen if she gave her husband the rest of the bottle. The therapist says she doesn't know; it's an experimental drug and she doesn't know what a full bottle could do to a person. Anyway, the woman leaves the therapist's office and put the rest of the bottle of pills in the husband's morning coffee.
A week later, a boy walks into the therapist's office and says: "Are you the dumb fuck who gave my mother a bottle of experimental pills?" "Why, yes, young man, I did. Why?" "Well, mom's dead, my sister's pregnant, my ass hurts, and dad's sittin' in the corner going "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty..."
Anyway I wish I was not quite so old as I feel because I'd love to go and see the Arctic Monkeys down the road on my birthday (hint to anyone who knows me), I'd like to be at least half my age so as not to stand out like a bored geography teacher at the school disco. I suppose I could pay £300 for a scalped ticket? Then stick to the shadows clutching my freshly bought 'monkeys' tshirt and mug as some obscenely young whippersnapper looks Me up and down with a look of disdain in his/her eyes not fully realising that he/she will be here in a few years time. I really like this band as they strike me as a very exciting prospect not seen since the Jam whom they resemble in stage presence. there's also a bit of humour in the writing, not to mention that the track 'When the sun goes down' just reminds me of the borough where I work. Anyone who hasn't already should download the album presented here for your delight. I don't care what my friend says, (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), besides she likes that bloody awful group of stick insects, Pussycat Dolls (so memorable I had to look thier name up on Radio One's site). I stuck
a couple of extra tracks on the album as I think it's too short including a very funny version of
'Love Machine' by Girls Aloud (or as they're really known My girlfriends, sorry forgot the word
'imaginary' there). Also I went to the trouble of upping the Specials A's B's & Rarities. This was
going to be uploaded a few weeks back but someone else did it first.
http://rapidshare.de/files/13363815/Clash-01-05-80_Ayles.rar.html The Clash Live Aylesbury 1980
http://rapidshare.de/files/13366060/AM_-_WPSIAT_WIN.rar.html The Arctic Monkeys Whatever People Say I Am That's What I'm Not
(NEW LINK Rename as The Specials - Stereo-Typical A's B's & Rarities.part1.rar)
The Beat in the Next post I promise :) No no honest